Okayyyyyyyy, sooooooooo again, I've been very slack, and again, fairly busy
The weekend of the 10th of Feb (Happy Birthday
Jess!!) brought about our most interesting and memorable weekend yet. We (Me, Penrith Boys,
Noah, Rob) headed down to Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, where it is legal to
buy fireworks – so we stocked up!!
We stayed with a
bloke named Pancake (who Steve and Nicko had met whilst on summer camp in 2008)
and his two roommates. We set foot into the house and yep, we were in the South
– stuffed animals and hunting gear scattered all around the place. It was at
this point we decided to choose where we were going to sleep. Jimmy turned
around and shotgunned the Lazy Boy recliner, to which Ting Ting, one of the
roommates, exclaimed “Good choice, this thing has more fuckin slant than a Jap”
– we looked awkwardly around at each other in silence – Ting Ting then filled this silence,
shouting out “WHITE POWER” – to which we had absolutely no response to…. (The
following day, after pointing out a Spik (Mexican) in the neighbouring
property, he told us he wasn’t really racist, just enjoyed a good racist joke…)
So that night we went out, started at a bar close by where
we taught Pancake how to drink like Aussies. He ended up throwing in the towel
early so we went out on the town. It was here we managed to meet some Marines,
who to begin with wanted to punch on because of an argument over which uni was
better, UNC or Duke, but when the guy went to get his mates, they came back and
everyone became friends. Sadly for one of us he may have preferred the former
outcome. One of the marines – a pommy named Trieve – happened to find a golf
cart with the keys still in it; so naturally, first instinct is to take it for
a joy ride. He pulled up beside the group and Jimmy jumped in. They drove off
down the boardwalk, took a corner too wide, took out a bench, kept driving
until Trieve jumped out, leaving Jimmy sitting in the passenger seat of the
cart heading towards some railings, Jimmy jumped out and everything seemed to
be hunky dory back towards the bars. Suddenly 6 people were on their knees in
handcuffs, waiting for the actual police to arrive, after some confusion, false
accusations and threats with tasers, this is how the night ended................
| How they can include injury to animals in the same category as property is beyond me... |
The following morning we went and picked up Jimmy (Who was walking like John Wayne - must have been a rough night) from gaol. He had a preliminary court hearing where he was handcuffed (and footcuffed) to
5 others which was pretty full on to see. It was here that he got let off the
charge of Larceny, but was ordered to pay the damages of the golf cart, bench
and railings and come back on Thursday for his second hearing, and show the
receipt of payment, and the charge would be further discussed.
That night we went out again and stole 2 golf carts….
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| This was in one of the apartments we went to |
So on Thursday the 16th, AKA D-Day, Jimmy, Nath
and I headed back down to Myrtle for the hearing. Whilst down there we thought
we’d make the most of it, so we went for a walk around and discovered a hot
sauce shop, where they offered “The Hottest Sauce in the World”. We decided to
give it a shot, so we signed waivers (yes, we had to sign waivers, basically
saying we know it’s stupid and if we die then it’s our fault). To give you an idea
of the heat, Tobasco has a Scoville rating of between 2500-5000 SHU, this sauce
(containing ghost peppers) had a rating of over 1,500,000 SHU!!!! We only had the smallest drop on a dorito, but I was in pain for a good 20 minutes - The lady suggested we go to the icecream shop a few shops down. Perfect. Lactose..... So I kept taking mouthfuls of water, holding it in my mouth, waiting for it to boil, swallow, and repeat for the next 15mins.
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| Before |
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| 15 seconds After |
Supposedly our photos will be on the "Wall of Flame" on their website. But they seem to be pretty shit and keeping it up to date.
We then went to the Court Room, Jimmy was dressed up, and we were all feeling a bit nervous. Instead we witnessed one of the most random
things we’ve ever experienced. It made Judge Judy look like the High Court of Australia. It
was basically just the arresting officers calling out people, several at a
time, having a chat, shaking hands and asking, “Want me to get you off this
charge?”, walking to the Judge/Lady people behind the desk, coming back and
saying “You’re free to go”. Thankfully this was the case with Jimmy too, and
just in case, he asked the officer if he would have a criminal record, to which
the officer almost laughed and sent us on our way. GREAT NEWS!!! Needless to
say, we were keen for a few celebratory drinks that night so we stopped in at a
servo on the way home where I had an interesting conversation with the bloke
behind the counter when he asked for my ID
“So you’re from the great state of……”
I butted in, “New South Wales”
He looked startled, so I then added “Australia…”
To which he responded “Oh shit man, I though it said you were from Alaska!”
….What an education system. This was then reinforced by the bloke who served Jimmy who’s name was “Green” – Yes…. Green…. The colour….
“So you’re from the great state of……”
I butted in, “New South Wales”
He looked startled, so I then added “Australia…”
To which he responded “Oh shit man, I though it said you were from Alaska!”
….What an education system. This was then reinforced by the bloke who served Jimmy who’s name was “Green” – Yes…. Green…. The colour….
That night we went out to not only celebrate Jimmy’s charges
being dropped, but also for Elle’s (British chick) 21st. This is
where we broke the record for number of people in a single cab – we managed to
squeeze in 10 – however, this record was not to remain in place for long.
Whilst out I was basically raped by a crazy black chick on the
dance floor who lifted up my shirt and touched me . . . . everywhere. . . . Needless
to say, I bailed pretty quickly. We went to another club where every drink was
$1 – perfect way to end the night!!
17th Feb we headed to our first ice hockey game
in Raleigh, about 2hrs north of Wilmington to watch Carolina Hurricanes v San
Jose Sharks. Janne, (the bloke from Finland) actually knew one of the players
on the Canes team, (so he got free seats a lot closer to the ice), and the player he knew got
awarded man of the match for setting up a goal, and then scoring the winning
goal in the last minute, so that was pretty cool.
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| 'Alright boys' |
A few of us stayed that night
and went out, where we picked up another interesting story, but that one cannot
be published – feel free to contact me though!!
| Out in Raleigh. Jager Bombs!!! |
It was a pretty dodgy area
where we were, and when we left the following day, we stopped at a servo to
fill up, and the bloke behind the counter casually had a gun tucked into the
back of his pants – none of us game to ask him how the pump worked, he realised
and just yelled something in a redneck slur which we couldn't understand
anyway - luckily we figured it out, and none of us got shot.
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| View from the hotel |
Sunday night Mel and Noni (Two Aussie girls) decided that
they would cook us dinner at my place because they missed being in the kitchen.
What great wives they’ll make one day! So they cooked up an absolute storm for
10 of us. Perfect way to end the week!
On Monday (20th) we went out to celebrate Katie’s
b’day (British girl) at Hooters. Somehow I managed to eat the most, a gut
filling 27 wings + beer! I nearly exploded.
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| Quality shirt at Hooters |
Tuesday was a dark day. We got word that our beloved PBR
shrine had to be removed by the following evening. So there was only one thing
to do…. Build it as high as we could before it had to come down. So that’s how
Tuesday night was spent, a group of us, 7 cases, and a lot of stacking! (and a
few sneaky fireworks)
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| The beginnings (2nd Feb) |
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| It continues 19th Feb (News that we must pull it down) |
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| 22nd Feb - The Final Masterpiece |
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| RIP Shrine |
Sneaky Firework
24th Feb we headed with Naths roommate Andy, to
Chapel Hill (2 and a bit hrs north of Wilmington) where the main UNC campus is.
We arrived at Andy’s house to be welcomed by one of the nicest, most giving
families we have ever come across. His parents greeted us with food to line our
stomachs for the night ahead. Unfortunately it was macaroni cheese, so I was
the pain who not only had to eat something else (roast beef sandwich), I also ruined
their day of lent by eating red meat – great first impressions by me. We
finished dinner, and Andy’s mum informed us she had bought two cases of beer,
and they were currently sitting in ice downstairs. Wow! That night we went out
to celebrate Andy’s sister’s boyfriend’s 21st. and this is where we set the record,
hopefully never to be broken, of 14 people in the cab, not including the
driver!! That night we got back, and for some reason thought it’d be a good
idea to lay into each other. So for a solid 30 minutes fists were flying and
the ribs were copping a hiding. The next day, we woke up not being able to move . . . in hindsight, not the best idea.
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| The typical American home, Flag, Rocking chair, and swinging bench on the 'porch' - Amazing! |
The following day we went around the UNC campus, which is
unlike anything we’ve ever seen. Bit of background info, Michael Jordan started
his basketball career as a student at UNC! The campus is like an entire suburb.
There are streets with shops, clubs and restaurants, all “on campus” – along
with 30,000 students enrolled at the uni!!
They have a huge football stadium, which was unlocked, so we
could walk on the pitch. We asked Andy to get a video of us running out of the
tunnel. Whilst in the tunnel we decided for a bit of a laugh to run out naked .
. but then decided maybe keep the undies on - just in case.
Shortly after, three big black guys come from the doors behind us, doing
a tour of the place, and there we are, pants around our ankles and shirts coming
off – I’d say that’s the quickest any of us have got dressed, and despite Nicko
trying to explain what we were actually doing, they chose to ignore us and keep
walking…. Embarrassing and awkward to say the least. Nevertheless when they
left we did get a video of us running out the tunnel. Fully clothed.
That night we got home and Andy’s mum had cooked home made
fried chicken (which was soooo good), and bought us another case of beer!! It
was at this point we thought we should have bought a whole case of wine to say
thanks, rather than just a couple of bottles!
So that's about it for now, I'll leave you with a few random things
- After we filled the van with toys and lollies, we thought we may as well go all out. So we got some personalised plates to go with it
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| Just to make sure the kids don't get scared |
- They give out bonus marks in class like it's going out of fashion. One of my teachers was having a computer illiterate moment, so some bloke told him to open up the other Internet browser to view the document he just clicked on. It worked, so he was awarded 3 marks to his overall grade?!
- Jimmy used hairspray instead of deodorant - quite entertaining to say the least. The best part probably was the fact he just dealt with sticky underarms until I questioned him 5 minutes later.
- I nailed a round the back shot in beer pong. By far the highlight in my beer pong playing career.
- A sign we saw in Myrtle: "I got my crabs from Dirty Dicks Crab House"
| Fancy some crab? |
- My perfect record of attending class has gone to shit. But I can't keep skipping them all, as they nearly all have a 5 absents = Fail the course policy!!!
- I went out on Leap day with some American friends and found a bloody old looking 6 year old

















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